undefined relationships

I was reading my students’ autobio reports the other night and one line pulled my heart strings: I love falling in love.

So innocent, so carefree! This line should obliterate all bitterness in the world. Even if it’s unrequited or undefined, romantic love ought to be wonderful.

In college, I had a classmate, an upperclass man, who showed up late one week after classes have started.

He stood among the rest because his eyes were fierce, his nose sharp, and his hair–the hair! the hair! it reached his back, down the shoulders, flowing like that of a shampoo model’s. I imagined him as Kenshin Himura for his moves were snappy and calculated. But he is relaxed, like a bum, a rockstar bum!

Then I decided, he’s my crush for that semester (even though I learned after a while that he’s committed; I was just crushing on him hey).

One day, we were grouped and I found him sitting in the circle where I belong. The professor required us to make a presentation to be shown at the end of the sem. A major project, in other words. Since I was the Comm Arts major, I was tasked to write the script, and it was a good excuse to get his number and talk to him during our meetings.

He made an excuse too, one night. He texted to say that we have a group review that very minute at the CPark, and I should be there, so I ran (literally) with my notes and handouts, only to find out that there’s no group review. It was just him sitting under a tree, waiting for me, so I invited him to our dormitory. It was the first of his dorm visits.

The next ones would last for hours; he would just talk and I listen, then switch. We would do this before he would visit his girlfriend. We became friends, and he started giving me my weakness: chocolates.

Come Vday, on my way to my class in French, I was stopped by a lady holding valentine balloons (I forget how they looked like). She said it’s from the long-haired guy who’s our groupmate. I later found out that he bought this frat’s valentine delivery service, one for me, another for the girlfriend.

Like other “relationships” between friends, this one is undefined, and we left it that way; this way there’s no bitterness, and the world becomes a happy place to fall in love.

(I never saw him again till one time last year, boyfriend and I walking around Quezon Ave, I caught the sight of his long hair. We ran into each other and tried to remember who the other is, or what phase in our lives the other entered, then walked ahead, went on with our happy lives).