The boyfriend said I should put my thoughts into blogging years ago. This idea would come up whenever we’re killing time, and I would tell him jokes or share with him my apocalyptic ideas or my end-of-world plans. When he said he’ll host my website for free, manage the widgets and all the techie stuff, I still had reservations.

I didn’t feel like writing about myself for people’s consumption. Not especially that time when I was still teaching in the University of the Philippines. And Facebook (or putting anything about you in public) wasn’t as hot as today.

Then I gave in to the pleasures of writing, for my eyes only. Time after time, one by one, my friends learned about this blog and I linked it eventually to Facebook where my friends (in the real sense of the word) are.

I liked the privacy of my little blog, until recently.

The “Most Popular” post in this blog, i.e., by way of comments posted, is

“what’s inside Sogo (and kulturang motel)”

For some reason, a number of curious people have been directed to my site, asking me about this hotel. Of course, many of them obviously didn’t even read that article which is part of an anthropology paper I submitted to Prof Michael Tan.

Every week, I’d get a question about rates, checking in, promos, and last time I check, same sex guests. I don’t know what to feel about this. But I felt obliged to remind them about their after-sex responsibilities. All I can tell them, though, is be safe, or, take responsibility for their actions.

So after profiling most readers of that post, here I give you, strangers, some friendly reminders or unsolicited advice. YEAH, like I own this blog. If you don’t want my preaching then Ctrl + W.

Here goes:

1. Unsafe sex actually leads to pregnancy.

Oh, you know that already?

Then check this out: mere withdrawal is not safe enough. Pills should be used on the advice of a doctor because it has pros and cons on your body, on your hormones, on your attitude, on your pimples. Condoms are affordable, and they come in yummy flavors. They protect you from babies and STDs. Don’t be shy to get one from the nearest convenience store. Honestly, the cashier wouldn’t care about you.

2. Wild sex hurts.

That it leads you to the hospital is not impossible. I don’t have cracked bones in mind. I’m thinking of genital infections mmm. The sort you could get when dirty mouths come in to play.

3. Sex itself may take a good five minutes for a quickie, 15 minutes with foreplay, an hour for multiple hooray orgasms. But mind you, the effects of your actions can last a lifetime.

Whether it’s guilt, pregnancy or simply a haunting memory– these are difficult to ejaculate in 5 mins, righty?

4. So you’re sexually active? Visit your gynecologist regularly. Penises and vaginas and all the things inside them aren’t like your elbows that will do fine even if you ignore it for the rest of your life.

Think of them as teeth that needs brushing and mouthwash and a regular dental check, because washing is not enough. Ladies, take care of your vaginas inside and out. No, don’t wash its insides with your favorite feminine wash. This is the ob-gyne’s job.

5. Sexually transmitted diseases are a many.

When penises enter a vagina or whatever, viruses and bacteria may freely travel from one port to another. You can never trust your partner completely now, can you?

So there, dear strangers.

Please think ahead and don’t add up to the Philippines’ bloated population of more than 90 million. And if you’re in congested Metro Manila, seriously, where do we put your baby, son?

I hope I don’t sound disgusting when I talk about the details of sex. That’s why I like an effective sex education in schools. So that maybe kids and teens become all too familiar with it that they’d rather play outside than feed their sexual curiosities. Especially with talks on STDs, actual size of vaginas, menstrual cycle and penis problems.

Now. Do I disgust you? You still wanna have sex in a motel?

Good.